Complex Cutlery

This conversation started as my friend and I were watching Orange is the New Black. If you've watched the show, you might remember the part I’m talking about: Alex is laying in her cot, she asks Piper to come be her “little spoon”. It’s a reference to the spooning cuddle position. My friend and I determined, by binge watching Season 1, that Larry is a little spoon person. He lacks confidence to be a big spoon. After thinking about this more I’ve come to a few conclusions… It was like dominoes. One fell over, then the next.  I think I may be onto something here… see if you follow:

The dominate person is typically the big spoon. Certain people are cut out for big spoondom, and other people need a big spoon to lean on. If you have the big spoon personality, you’re likely looking for a little spoon to cuddle. If you’re a little spoon, and another little spoon finds you… it’s probably not going to work out. For me, I like being a little spoon. I like my man to be a fork on the streets and a big spoon in the sheets. I like that when we’re out and about, he’s pointy and he doesn't care if his tines aren't straight. When we’re at home he’s smooth. He makes me feel confident. We fit together.

The more I thought about this though, the deeper the rabbit hole became! It all started with the understanding that most relationship problems come up when people aren't able to comfortably settle into the drawer at night. If both people are the big spoon, or both are the little spoon, then how do they fit?

I know what you’re thinking: All of the spoons, big and little, fit together nicely in your silverware drawer. They lay in the plastic silverware divider perfectly. You’re right, but here’s where I’m going to blow your mind: We’re not in that drawer! Human nature makes us crave that drawer, because it looks normal. In the real world we exist in the drawer beside it. You know what I’m talking about? That messy, catch-all drawer that has the large serving spoons, spatulas, the whisk...maybe even a stray cookie cutter; the drawer that’s usually hard to close because everything is crammed into it.

I believe this drawer is where the real people are. Reality is that we’re all spatulas and cookie cutters; we’re different. Our friends and family are the utensils crammed in the drawer with us. We each have a vision of who we’d like to be, or who we want to find. That person may or may not be a spoon twenty four hours a day… and that’s alright, because when we reach for them they will be what we need; big spoon, little spoon… maybe even a spatula!

As a wanna be little spoon, I started out looking for the perfect big spoon. (I feel lucky to have found him.) As I became a more seasoned utensil, it became clearer that I’ve found someone who can fit into my junk drawer without falling out, or getting broken when it’s slammed shut.

I believe we’re all looking for someone who fits with us, and all our junk, and makes us feel good about it. I’m going to leave you with a song. It’s titled Various Kitchen Utensils, by this band Skybox. This is from an older album, but I’m sure you’ll agree the title is perfect for this blog. It’s been playing in my head since the entire “Big Spoon/Little Spoon” conversation started.

Have any thoughts to contribute? I’d love to hear them! Comment, like, share…